Boundaries and Healthy Relationships

You ever meet a person that made you laugh. Made you smile, made you want to conjure up the best scenarios’ that involved bubble baths, champagne and soft kisses? Despite the cotton candy, whipped cream and soft cloud fantasies the one thing you have asked this person to NOT do, repeatedly, is constantly happening. After several explanations of boundaries that need to be met the relationship has suffered. At this point there is a decision to be made. To continue with this person or let the relationship go.

Suffering occurs within all types of relationships when there is a lack of boundaries drawn. Whether it be in business or personal, if there isn’t communication happening between all parties involved, chances are breakdowns will happen. Often times the line being crossed is unintentional. That doesn’t keep the resentment from building up. It takes a conscious effort on both parties to learn the others’ triggers. If, after learning those triggers the behavior continues, the resentment is justified.

Self love and respect are necessary when deciding to let a person go who refuses to take heed to the lines drawn. More times than not a person will tolerate gaslighting, abuse, and manipulation so as to not be lonely. Honestly, what is worse, being by yourself or compromising your worth to keep a warm body near you? The latter is a form of abuse in and of itself. Attempting to maintain relationships that are draining is exhausting. These types of interactions threaten peace of mind. There is not much else more important than being at peace within ones own mind. Any person that takes away from that peace is not worth the headache.

People in life that take the time to explain the boundaries they have put in place are a rare find. Valuing the relationship enough to explain in the hopes of offering understanding takes a level of patience people don’t display these days. Discarding friends, business associates and lovers happens more times than not. Being appreciative of people that take the time to encourage growth is key. Taking the information and changing behavior locks the whole situation up! There have been many friends, over the years took the time to make me a better friend. The relationships sustained because I took the constructive criticism and smoothed out my rough edges. Applying what I learned to future interactions only strengthened the friendships. It is because of these people loving me enough to speak their truth that I am able to continue to be the light that you seek!

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